Sometimes The Song Does Not Remain The Same
by winchestersunited
Summary: Sam gets his chance to go back in time and change an important event in his life so he can change the future.


This story started out as something else but took on a mind of its own. I'm still new at this writing lark so please review.

SOMETIMES THE SONG DOES NOT REMAIN THE SAME

When Sam finally gets his chance to ride the Delorian back to the past, its not so he can go back and learn something about a past he cant change or to meet his parents when they were younger than he is now, like Dean did. Sam is sent back so he can change one moment in history one moment enough to prevent the apocalypse. When Anna told him the plan he assumes she'd send him back to before he was born, to make sure that he never is. Imagine his surprise when he finds himself stood outside the run down house they rented during the summer of 2001, the summer he left his family to pursue his dreams of normal and a better life.

It doesn't't take more than a few seconds for him to figure out why he's been sent back to this particular time and what it is he's supposed to change. He finds his 18 year self on the porch behind the house, he remembers this moment, gearing up to break the news. He and his father had just finished another bout in their war of words, Sam all anger and defiance, John all orders and stubbornness. Sam remembers being pissed at John for not listening to Sam yet again and at Dean because as usual John's perfect little soldier stood by and said nothing. Dean only interfered when he absolutely had to, when the argument became too heated and the threat of punches being thrown hung heavy in the air. Then Dean would step between Sam and John and send them off to their corners to calm down.

Sam can hear John's angry words as he tells Dean to get Sam packed up and ready to leave for another hunt and to make sure that Sam works on his attitude. He can see his younger self white knuckling the railings of the porch, whole body shaking with anger and hurt, he sees the moment he decided to march inside the house and throw the acceptance letter from Stanford down on the table and tell his father that he's leaving. That's when all hell will break loose.

Its now or never and Sam knows what happens if he chooses never, its not an option. He approaches himself cautiously, he is a hunter after all and once he's convinced younger him that he's not a shape-shifter or any other supernatural creature the kid can think up-Dean was right Sam is a geek-he gets five minutes to explain why Stanford is the biggest mistake of his life. Sam talks about Jessica dying just for knowing him, about John and Dean hating him for leaving, about demons tracking his every move and about future mistakes that are going to lead to him almost destroying the world before ending up in hell. He probably goes into too much detail, from the look on his young face Sam would say he may have traumatized the kid, but he needs to ensure that he doesn't't go to Stanford and shock tactics may be the only think that work on his stubbornness and defiance. Dean calls for Sam to come back inside just as he did the first time and young Sam pays him one last glance before he heads inside. Sam sighs, he gave it his best shot, its all up to the kid now.

When the Yellow Eyed Demon had come after Sam and his family, and possessed his father Sam hadn't hesitated to shoot the demon right in his fathers heart, no demon deal was made for his brothers life, John Winchester didn't't go to hell and Dean didn't't sell his for Sam months later. Sam thought he'd done good until his brother, injured but not dying, told him to get out of his hospital room and never show his face again. Sam saved the world from himself but he couldn't't save his family. Fatherless and brother- less at the age of 23 Sam Winchester borrowed a car from Bobby Singer and set out to become the only thing he'd ever known, a hunter. He didn't't know his life would turn out the way it did when he let his future self convince him to not go to Stanford. Sam had made the decision thinking he would be happier, he would have his father and brother and no girlfriends would be dead because of him. Sam had saved the world from his poor choices but he couldn't save himself.

Ten years later and Sam was a hardened, shell of a human being. He lived out of his car, he hunted alone, didn't't have a soul in the world he could depend on and didn't't have a soul in the world who even cared if he lived or died. He checked up on his brother whenever he was in his neck of the woods. Dean had retired from hunting right after Sam had destroyed the Yellow Eyed Demon, got a job, found himself a wife and had a couple of kids. Dean was happy, he'd finally gotten what he'd been missing since he was four yeas old. Something Sam had never and could never have. Sam had once 'accidentally on purpose' bumped into the wife and kids once, wanting to meet his brothers family maybe even reunite with him again. He's subtly asked how Dean was, claiming to be an old friend, and then asked how Dean's brother was doing. The wife looked confused and slightly suspicious, Dean's son had piped up that 'daddy didn't't have a brother', the look on the wife's face was enough to tell Sam that Dean had never mentioned him. He quickly made his escape, running back to his car and driving as fast and as far away as he could. Sam had saved the world, saved his fathers soul, saved his brother but he couldn't't save himself.

Sometimes Sam wondered what life would have been like if he'd gone to Stanford, then he remembered what future Sam told him and all regrets and doubts flew out the window. Sam was cursed, Sam was a curse. People were better off without him, he was better off without people. That didn't't stop him from finding comfort in the occasional woman on his travels though, even cursed people had needs.

Sam stumbled upon the Roadhouse a few years back. The owner Ellen had surprisingly known his father and not surprisingly never heard that John Winchester had a kid, Sam didn't't mention Dean. Ellen's daughter Jo was a year his senior and itching to get into the hunting game. She'd attached herself to Sam like a second skin, using her feminine whiles to lure him into taking her on a hunt. Ellen hadn't been too pleased about Jo's desire to hunt but she seemed to like and trust Sam. That was until Sam left Jo with a broken heart after several months of being on the road together and learning the ropes. If he'd known Jo wanted more from him than a hunting partner and casual sex he would never have agreed to letting her come along in the first place. Sam couldn't't afford to get attached, there would be no girlfriends burning on the ceiling on his watch. Not in this life.

Most nights Sam either hunted or drunk himself into a stupor which was how he ended up wrapping his car around a mother of a tree and consequently in a hospital bed with a concussion and several broken ribs. The local sheriff had been nice enough to not shop him for drink driving, instead telling Sam to get his life in order and not waste it away on the bottle. Sam felt like telling the man to go screw himself but he really liked his freedom and he really needed to keep his license. Who ever heard of a hunter who had to take the bus from job to job? With no car, the tree had totalled it, Sam had no choice but to call Bobby. He hadn't seen or spoken to the grizzly old hunter in years. Sam didn't't like to attach himself to people and Bobby was always trying to look out for him. As Sam suspected the promise of a replacement car came with the promise from Sam that he would spend some time recovering at the salvage yard. Sam agreed if only because he really needed a car and Bobby had mentioned a Charger he was fixing up.

Bobby was an awesome guy and if Sam did do attachments Bobby was just the kind of guy Sam would want to be friends with. Bobby kept reminding Sam that he'd known him since he was a tiny little nipper, asking a million questions and insisting on calling him 'Uncle Bobby.' Sam just smiled and wished Bobby would hurry up and give him a car already before Sam's itch to steal one got scratched. He really should have known something was fishy when Bobby told him about a hunt, insisted that he go and help out an old buddy of his. Sam stupidly agreed only because he owed Bobby and he was going to get to drive the Charger at last. He really should have known he was being set up. How Jo Harvelle was an 'old hunting buddy' of Bobby's Sam would have to ask Bobby before he killed him, right after he strangled Jo for thinking she could handle the hunt for a Wendigo in the Colorado woods alone. Jo could handle herself pretty well and she was a thorough researcher but even the most experienced hunter wouldn't't take on a Wendigo alone. After he'd saved her ass from where she's been strung up like meat on a hook in the creatures lair, and torched the son of a bitch, he told her exactly what he thought of her stupid little plan to go after a stupid Wendigo all by her stupid self. Jo narrowed her eyes at him, flipped her hair and stalked off leaving him to follow her back to civilisation. They spent the next 24 hours in the motel room and car back to Bobby's in silence. As soon as the car pulled up Jo jumped out and met her mothers stern face on the steps to Bobby's house. Sam found Bobby in the kitchen and proceeded to inform the old man that if the car came with any more conditions of favours well then Bobby could just stick his stupid car where the sun didn't't shine. Bobby promptly told Sam to pull his head out of his ass and stop trying to shut himself from everyone. Apparently the time was right for Ellen to come in, while Jo was in the bathroom, and tell Sam that Bobby was right and that Sam needed to realise that there were people that cared about him. Sam wasn't an idiot he knew she was talking about Jo. Sam chose that moment to tell them both to go to hell and storm out.

Three weeks later Sam found himself beaten to hell, and barley able to keep himself from face planting onto the Roadhouse floor when Ellen unlocked and opened the door to let him in, all the while cursing the cold and the ridiculous time while Jo kept her shot gun aimed at him. He didn't't remember what happened next only that he woke up in a soft, warm bed with one mother of a headache and his entire body aching. Jo demanded to know what happened to him, Sam insisting that it was none of her business. Sam guessed he deserved the whack over the head with the pillow but really hadn't he suffered enough? Jo spent the next week ignoring him while Sam rested up from yet another concussion. Ellen spent the week doting on him in Sam assumed, an attempt to get him to open up and maybe let himself care and be cared for the first time in, he didn't't know how long. On the sixth night Sam snuck out without so much as a thank you or a goodbye, he did help himself to a bottle of Jack on the way out, though he didn't't make it very far. The tiny blonde female and bane of his life was perched on the hood of his car with an all knowing smirk on her pretty little face, insisting that he either get back inside of forcibly remove her if he wanted to leave. Sam being the huge guy that he was, was not intimidated by her tiny form and proceeded in stalking over and easily lifting her from the sleek black metal. He really should have put her down there and then, but Sam being the smart ass that he was carried her all the way back inside and right to her room, dropping her on the bed while she did nothing but smirk suggestively at him. Well Sam wasn't going to put up with that. He definitely shouldn't have stuck around for the morning after, though thankfully Ellen only gave him a look and didn't't threaten to cut off his balls if he even thought about hurting her daughter again. Sam felt like he was slowly going insane, he couldn't understand why Ellen or Jo or Bobby didn't get that just knowing him was a sure fire way as any to get hurt. When he tried to explain his curse to Jo she just kissed him and told him he was wrong, that she would prove him wrong.

Sam really should have seen the shot gun wedding coming, he and Jo argued a lot and arguing always lead to hot angry sex with them. How was Sam supposed to remember protection when faced with a smoking hot naked and angry Jo Harvelle? Besides she could have remembered to take her pill, not like he was the only one to blame or so he insisted when Ellen had pointed her gun at his nether region and threatened to shoot 'little Sammy' if he didn't't step up and do the right thing. Bobby called Pastor Jim, yet another old hunting buddy of his dads he hadn't seen in years and the next thing Sam knew he was getting married by the creek at the edge of Jim Murphy's property. Sam and Jo had both said no to having the ceremony inside the church. Sam thought it would feel wrong marrying a two month knocked up Jo inside a house of god, Jo claimed the musty smell made her nauseous.

Sam spent the entire pregnancy drinking, hunting and sweating through nightmares of a blonde woman burning on the ceiling above him. How had he got himself in this situation, he was never supposed to have a girlfriend let alone a wife and a baby? Jo spent the entirety of the pregnancy being pissed at Sam for not being there. How could he be there, why did she not get it? She was going to burn on the ceiling and their child would be cursed just like him. A month before the baby was due Sam went on a hunt and didn't return. Ellen sent Bobby to find him but Sam didn't't want to be found. Bobby, at the end of his rope did the only thing he could think of, he tracked down Dean.

Dean Winchester was living, really living for the first time since he was four years old. Free from hunting, free from his fathers orders and free from his brother. It wasn't that he didn't love Sam, he just didn't't think he could ever get over his little brother killing their father. The cold determined look in his brothers eyes had scared him, not to mention how the Yellow Eyed Demon's taunts about his plans for Sam. Plans that went all the way back to the night their mother burned on the nursery ceiling, plans that involved Sam and freaky mind powers. Dean had been terrified and used his anger to push Sam away because he couldn't deal with his own problems let alone Sam's. Dean had quit hunting, because without his father and his ever present need for revenge Dean had no reason to hunt. He found a job he enjoyed, a woman he loved and had two kids he lived for. Dean was happy like he hadn't been since the days before the fire, back when he had mummy, daddy and toys and love and laughter. So when Bobby Singer found him at the garage he co-owned begging him to help him find Sam, Dean was reluctant to say the least. He hadn't even spoken to his brother in eleven years, he wouldn't't even know where to begin looking. Bobby wasn't getting the message though, he insisted that if Dean didn't get his ass in gear and find Sam he wouldn't't hesitate to pump Dean full of rock salt. Within the hour Dean had a bag packed, told his family he was going to collect classic car parts from California-because that was the first place that came to mind- and jumped in the passenger seat of Bobby's truck.

Bobby drove them to every place Dean could think of that Sam might have gone. A woman named Missouri called Bobby a week later telling them where to find Sam. When they pulled up outside their old house in Lawrence Bobby waited outside, much to Dean's annoyance, and let Dean go in after his brother. The house was abandoned and boarded up now, no one had lived there since the fire it seemed. He found his brother in his old nursery, huddled against a wall staring up at the ceiling. He didn't't acknowledge Dean when he entered the room and stood awkwardly in front of him. Neither one said anything for what seemed like forever, Dean barely able to get over how much older his brother was since the last time he'd seen him. Sam had grown out of his baby faced looks and gangly limbs into the incredible hulk. Hair still too long, muscles everywhere and a hardened look about him brought on by too many years of hunting. His brother looked haunted. Dean was about to say something when Bobby burst into the room rambling on about 'Jo and the baby', Dean didn't't know what he was going on about but it seemed to kick Sam into gear. His brother was up and bounding out to his car before Dean could say 'Hi'. Dean followed stopping to watch as his brother let Bobby rip him a new one before pulling the bigger hunter into a hug. He couldn't hear what was said but whatever it was seemed to reassure Sam. His little brother got into the Charger and peeled out of the drive and down the street without so much as a goodbye. Bobby wouldn't tell him anything on the way back home, just said that Sam would be just fine, he would make sure of it. He dropped Dean off outside the garage, thanked him for his time and took off. Dean guessed he'd forfeited any right to knowing anything about Sam eleven years ago, didn't't mean it didn't't hurt.

The second Sam's tiny perfectly healthy son was placed in his arms, Sam broke down. How could he love something so tiny, so much, so fast? Jo had eventually forgiven him for taking off, only after Sam had cried out all his fears while she held him and whispered loving reassurances in his ear until they both drifted off to sleep. They named their son William Robert Winchester. Ellen and Bobby had both cried.

Ten years later Sam had four kids-ten year old Will, 8 year old Beth, 5 year old Josh and 3 year old Samantha- a wife that he adored, even if she did drive him crazy at times, a mother in Ellen and a father in Bobby. Sam was happy, he had no regrets about the decisions he'd made, he was complete. Sam Winchester was saved.


End file.
